I find that standards are incredibly helpful when it comes to dating and also a necessity that everyone needs to put serious thought, effort, and time into.
When someone wants to be in a relationship it's easy to just try to put yourself out there and go out with the first person who will. But then you turn into a fish surrounded by hooks because the people that you would attract will do more harm than good to you. Whereas if you had a set of standards that you knew, that you took the time and effort into creating then you would look for someone who actually meets those criteria. And if your standards are meaningful then you will be looking for meaningful people. It's like you get what you put out (and by putting out you're really just making a set of standards that you follow). But not only do standards help you get someone who is worth your time, but standards can make you a better person yourself.
Have you ever heard of the phrase: Be the person you want to marry (you can replace marry with date if you would like)? Well it means exactly that really, you should have all the qualities that you are looking for. For guys this could mean if you want a girl (or a guy depending on your orientation) who is faithful to you and doesn't go around looking at porn then you can't be looking at porn yourself. For girls this could mean that if you want a guy (or a girl) who doesn't flirt with others or shows off parts of their bodies then you need to not be flirtatious and be careful with exposing yourself.
All this being said: I would feel like a complete hypocrite if I didn't share with you my personal standards that I came up with to show you that I too have standards that I follow when looking to date or marry someone (I've even ranked them in order from least importance to most importance cause I'm a nerd like that). So without further adue here is my list and why it is important to me (going from least importance to most):
3. Maintains activity (likes doing things regularly). This is because I like chilling but even when I chill I'm doing something like watching a movie or writing this blog or even playing the piano. My chilling is really me doing things that I like doing. I am not interested in someone who chooses to actually do nothing and can do nothing all day cause that is boring to me and wasteful of a great day!
2. Respects themselves and others (especially family)[this includes their bodies and other's bodies]. This means to me that I will not be dating someone who smokes anything, likes to over drink, enjoys watching adult movies, and things of the like because that isn't respecting their bodies and it is not respecting others. I know a couple people who smoke weed or sheesha and tell me that it is completely fine, but to me it is not. You are putting harmful stuff in your body and therefor I will never date them. This standard also means that they need to respect their family, not like them but respect them.
And finally number 1. On fire for God and Jesus!!! This is huge for me because my faith is huge to me! I don't want to be with someone who doesn't have the same passion (or greater) passion for God or Jesus than I do. And to me, going to church once a week is not on fire.
So I feel like I should wrap up before this begins to sound like I am really just posting my bio for an online dating site. But anyways that is my view on standards and my standards that I have. Don't be mistake though, just because I have standards doesn't mean I'm good with dating right now, having these standards makes me want to get ride of somethings in my life because right now I am not convinced I would date myself if I kept these standards.
So do you have standards? If so what are they?
#LifeOfRyan
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